The Big Sur Marathon is more than two months away, and I already fear it.
I fear overtraining, getting injured and not making it to the start line, essentially letting down every donor who believed in me and my cause. I fear hurting and coming up short. And I really fear the hills.
I’m training hard with Minnesota RED, and we do weekly speed and hill sessions. “Will it be enough?” I asked my coach. I drive to and from work every day under what’s known as the High Bridge, a half-mile grueling climb over the Mississippi River. I did eight repeats on the bridge last Saturday with my club. I wondered if I should be running repeats on the High Bridge every week. “You’ll get plenty of hills,” he assured me.
The fear has been building for days. This morning I came out.
I don’t get nervous for a marathon until shortly before the race. I’m two months away from the Big Sur Marathon, and I. Am. Scared.
— Brady(@bgervais) February 23, 2012
I believe fear can be good when channeled properly. It can motivate. It certainly has kept me from doing pretty foolish things. But hours after posting my feelings about the marathon on Twitter, it hit me: I am lame.
My colleague Ruben, for whom I’m running the marathon, underwent a stem cell transplant today. While he fights to live a longer life, I’m worried about a few hills. I’m blessed if a 500-foot incline over two miles is my biggest concern leading up to and on race day. It does not compare to the hurdles others have to climb every day.
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7 Responses to Fear
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What a great dose of perspective. And it’s okay to be fearful of the marathon and all that entails. Healthy fear is good–unhealthy fears that stifles you isn’t. And your training has been amazing. Trust in it.
You found your strength today. It was always there; it just needed a little coaxing to come out. You’re going to rock Big Sur – no worries!
My thoughts are with Ruben.
Brady…I just want to say one thing. Just get to the starting line and finish this race. Don’t over train and get injured. Your donors will not care if you run a 3:15 marathon or a 5 hour marathon. They only care that you made the incredible effort of getting to the starting line in the first place. Finishing is something the runner needs…and you deserve that.
The fear is totally understandable, but the important thing is that in the end, you’re able to put it in perspective. If the worst happens and you can’t make it to the start, your donors will understand. They are there to support you and would never judge you. You do that enough on your own!
The problem with fear is that it is paralyzing. Courage is the ability to keep moving forward even when you are afraid. However, I hope you do not over-train my dear – that is not good for you or your donors. Sending you peaceful, fear-less vibes.
Maybe it’s time to drop your fears and become a cyclist instead of a runner….hahahahaha. Just kidding, Brady. You are much bigger than your fear so grab a hold of it, acknowledge it’s there, and then show it how awesome you are.
Darryl
Thanks everyone for your encouraging words and bits of wisdom! And Ed, I’m taking an unscheduled rest day. Because of your words. Thank you.